


Cas Stuff

by suckerfordeansfreckles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Cas hurts a lot, Castiel Has Self-Esteem Issues, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Knotting, Lists, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, Roommates, Self-Esteem Issues, Smut, very brief Meg/Cas kissing action
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 21:00:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15179309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suckerfordeansfreckles/pseuds/suckerfordeansfreckles
Summary: Since Cas and Dean moved into their shared apartment closer to their college, but especially since Dean started making more and more new friends in classes and on campus and at parties, things changed. Dean changed, their friendship changed — but Castiel didn’t.Still, if it weren’t for Dean’s handwriting, blue ink on white paper, Cas would never believe Dean would be this cruel. Would never think Dean would sit down and write an actual list about all the things he hates about Cas. A list. Titled “Cas Stuff”.





	Cas Stuff

**Author's Note:**

> Huge fucking thank you to the best person in the world: [Jules](http://reallyelegantsharkfish.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> Thank you for helping me with all of this, thank you for beta'ing, thank you for being awesome and dealing with me <3

Cas feels the crumpled piece of paper when he shoves his hands into the back pocket of his sweatpants. Or, rather, the pocket of Dean’s sweatpants, the ones Dean never wears but buries in the back of his closet. Assuming it must be an old receipt, he pulls it out to throw it away. He stops dead in his tracks, though, when he catches sight of his own name, written in Dean’s handwriting, on top of the paper.

 

He skims over what happens to be a list, then takes his time to read it again, then by the third time he’s sitting on the carpet in front of his bed and he’s clenching his fingers in his thighs to distract himself from the burning in his eyes. 

 

He had known Dean since they were both just tiny pre-schoolers, had been his best friend for just as long. 

 

Since they moved into their shared apartment closer to their college, and especially since Dean started making more and more new friends in classes and on campus and at parties, things changed. Dean changed, their friendship changed — but Castiel didn’t. Still, if it weren’t for Dean’s handwriting, blue ink on white paper, Cas would never believe Dean would be this cruel. Would never think Dean would sit down and write an actual list about all the things he hates about Cas. A list. Titled “Cas Stuff”.

 

  
  
_                5. when he wears my clothes _

 

It takes Cas a while longer to blink away the tears and to get back up from the floor. 

 

Cas tries to think back to when he started doing this, borrowing Dean’s clothes to lounge around in them. He thinks it started a little after Dean presented omega at 17, when Cas’ inner alpha, desperately needy for the soothing smell of his best friend, could only be calmed down when he was wrapped in Dean’s scent.

 

He takes off Dean’s pants, digs through his own dirty laundry to find an old pair of sweatpants to put on, before peeking out of his room to see if Dean is back home from classes already. When he realizes that he’s still alone in their apartment, he slips into Dean’s room. He puts the sweatpants back into a corner of his closet, neatly folded, but sans list. 

 

It makes sense, Dean not wanting Cas to smell like him all the time, because how would that look to other people? And obviously Dean wouldn’t want to smell like Cas all the time, either.

 

Cas shakes his head at himself and swears to never ask for any of Dean’s clothes ever again.

 

  
  
_                1. his scent _

 

It’s hard to learn that his best friend can‘t stand his smell, hates it so much he ranks it number one on this stupid list of horrible things about Cas. 

 

But he gets it. He has had to deal with scents he can’t stand every now and then, too. He knows that people usually dislike the scents of people they aren’t attracted to or have a bad feeling about, has heard that some alphas’ scents are downright repulsive to some omegas. It‘s just hard to accept that Dean hasn‘t said anything about this before — he must have hated spending time with Cas ever since he presented, must hate how their apartment smells.

 

That‘s the thought that gets Cas going, because if Dean hates how their home smells, then Cas fucked up badly.

 

He rips open every single window, lets too warm air flow inside and slowly take away the mingled smell of _Cas_ _and_ _Dean_ he had come to love so much. 

 

He takes a shower while he lets the apartment air out, and when he’s done he uses so much blocker that he can‘t even smell himself anymore. He sprays some cologne on top of it anyway — just to be sure. 

 

When Dean walks through the door that night, he looks happy. When he gets closer to Cas, though, he starts to wrinkle his nose and has a coughing fit. 

 

Before he can say anything more, Cas disappears into his room and prays that his awful scent is leaving with him. He needs to get stronger cologne, then.

 

  
  
_                12. when he talks about tiny stuff (ex: bees) for hours _

 

That one had hurt the most out of all the bullet points on Dean’s list, probably. It’s why Cas thinks about it a lot, especially when he’s in a conversation with Dean — like he is right now.

 

Cas has been teased about this topic by a lot of people over the years, but he’d thought that Dean— 

 

Well, Dean is just as annoyed about his passionate rants about random shit as his old school friends, his siblings, just like… everyone else.

 

Cas can’t really understand how this happened. He’d been so careful to never tell Dean about the same thing twice as to not bore him, had always watched for Dean’s reaction, had always made sure to keep his rants about animals and the environment and historical facts short when Dean wasn’t in a good mood.

 

Cas shuts down those thoughts quickly, and then he presses his lips together to interrupt himself mid-sentence to get up from the kitchen chair and leave Dean alone for once. 

 

“Cas?” He hears Dean’s voice from the kitchen behind him. “Hey, how  _ does  _ honey help with allergies, now? C’mon, don’t leave me hanging like that, dude!”

 

He just shuts his door behind him a little louder than necessary in answer.

 

  
  
_                9. he doesn’t know any movies _

 

It’s true, again. Cas really doesn’t know much about movies or tv shows, doesn’t know shit about the movies Dean declares “the best thing in tv history.” It’s usually been a thing Dean teases him about a little, and then he’d knock on Cas’ door a few hours or days later, current  _ I can’t believe you haven’t watched this, Cas _ movie clutched in his hand, inviting Cas to a movie night, to a “much needed lesson in pop culture.”

 

They’d had a lot of fun every time, munching on popcorn, eyes glued to the screen, Dean interrupting the movie every ten minutes to tell Cas what’s about to happen and how he feels about it. Cas remembers nights he fell asleep next to Dean on the couch, remembers sharing a blanket, feet pressed against each other beneath it, remembers laughter-filled popcorn fights that ended with them having to clean the whole living room afterwards, the whole apartment smelling of their contentment. 

 

Those nights were some of their best — or so Cas had thought. 

 

Maybe Dean really was so exasperated with having to explain every single joke and movie reference to Cas that he decided spending a few hours making Cas watch the most important ones would be the lesser evil. 

 

That’s why Cas is currently spending his Saturday evening on the couch, watching Die Hard, a movie Dean has mentioned exceptionally often over the last few weeks.

 

When Dean comes home from wherever he spent the evening, maybe friends or a bar or with another one of his conquests, he stops in the doorway quite abruptly, watching Cas watch the tv for a few tense minutes. When Cas looks over at him, there’s a distant look on his face.

 

“Die Hard, huh? Could’a waited for me,” he says, and sounds weirdly choked up about it.

 

  
  
_                6. the spider he just kinda has living with him in his room _

_                7. also the fact that he named the spider _

 

Dean silently watches Cas walk towards their balcony from his spot on the couch a few days later. 

 

“Watcha got there, Cas?” he asks, and sits up a little more to peek into Cas’ carefully cupped hands.

 

“Fra— the spider.”

 

“You’re throwing Franklyn out?” He sounds shocked, like he never expected Cas to grow up and act like any other normal adult.

 

“Yes, he belongs out into nature,” Cas says, and tries very hard to not let any emotion slip into his voice. Franklyn is his first real pet, and the fact that he’s tearing up a little when he watches him climb from his hand onto the grey wall of their house is just absolutely ridiculous. 

 

He doesn’t look at Dean when he walks past him back to his room.

 

  
  
_                2. his crazy fucking hair, sticking up everywhere _

 

Cas buys a hairbrush between classes, and plans to start brushing his hair before leaving the bathroom in the morning. 

 

He doesn’t think it helps much with how stubborn his hair is, but the surprised look Dean gives him when he walks into their kitchen the next day seems to suggest otherwise. He watches his reflection in the kitchen window and, yes, it looks a little flatter. Good.

“You — um. You did something to your hair, Cas?” Dean asks over his sandwich, not seeming to notice the tomatoes that are slowly slipping out of it. They land on his plate with a weird  _ pflop _ , and Dean finally seems to realize that he’s been staring.

 

“Yes, I did, actually. I finally bought a brush.”

 

“Oh. Looks nice,” he says, and then he looks back down at his sandwich and doesn’t look back up at Cas during all of breakfast.

 

Cas wonders if maybe Dean just realized that he simply hates Cas’ hair, no matter how wild or tame or curly or flat.

 

  
  
_                13. all the tiny shit he collects _

 

Cas knows that Dean hates this about him, has faced a lot of what he had assumed at the time were fond eyerolls whenever he stopped in the middle of a road to pick up a stone. He owns tons of small things like that; pebbles, feathers, shells, pressed leaves and flowers. He never leaves them out in any of their shared rooms, though, always careful to put them away in his drawers, or maybe to place the prettiest new addition on one of his shelves. 

 

He doesn’t know why Dean’d be bothered by that, but he makes sure to remind himself over and over again not to stop and collect things when he’s walking somewhere with Dean.

 

 

 

_                8. he can’t cook to save his life  _ — _ not even bacon!!! _

 

Cas is up and in the kitchen an hour before Dean usually wakes up on Thursdays. He’s going to prove him wrong on this one, at least. Show him that he’s not entirely useless.

 

He pulls bacon and eggs and butter from the fridge and gets started. 

 

When Dean walks into the kitchen later, rubbing sleep from his eyes, he immediately winces at the burnt smell Cas is currently trying to frantically wave out of the window. He doesn’t really stop wincing, actually makes pained noises when he sees burnt bacon and slimy eggs.

 

“Hey, the toast looks good, buddy,” he says, way too cheery considering the frown on his face. “I gotta admit I’m not quite sure what the occasion is, but thank you for making us breakfast!”

 

He grabs a slice of toast and slumps down on a kitchen chair, watching as Cas dumps the bacon and, on Dean’s instruction, lets the eggs cook a little longer. 

 

When he’s finally done and they get to actually try Cas’ food, he sighs into his scrambled eggs and admits defeat. Dean is right, Cas really is good for nothing.

 

He wouldn’t have needed Dean’s list to realize that, though.

 

 

  
_                3. he loves to spend time with Sam _

 

It takes Cas almost two weeks to understand what that one is about. He realizes it when Sam, Dean’s younger brother, is over for the weekend and he and Cas are in the middle of a conversation about the latest novel Sam had to read for classes. 

 

Cas has known Sam almost as long as he’s known Dean, and they have always gotten along great, their shared interests in literature and history giving them a lot of common ground. As a freshly presented alpha, right at the peak of puberty, Sam can be a little hard to handle sometimes — but that doesn’t make him any less likeable to Cas.

 

Cas has to admit that he does steal Dean a few hours of Sam-time whenever Sam’s over for the weekend and they spend some time catching up with each other. Dean usually watches them with a patient, soft kind of look, sometimes adding to the conversation but mostly just listening quietly. 

 

Dean must be jealous, angry that Cas is trying to intrude on their precious time together — but Cas honestly can’t get a grasp on why Dean would be jealous of  _ him _ . 

 

Sam and Dean have one of the best sibling relationships Cas has ever witnessed. Even now, with Dean at college, they talk several times a week, spend hours on the phone chatting about school and their family and life in general. Cas knows how much they care for each other, how much Sam loves and admires Dean, and he can’t imagine that Dean believes Cas could ever get between them. That he’d want to get between them.

 

But apparently Dean wants Cas to stop imposing on their time together — which makes sense. All the times Dean’s been watching them, he’s just been waiting for Cas to finally leave them be so they can spend some time alone, without him bugging them.

 

So he does. 

 

“Um, sorry Sam. Dean. I forgot I had an appointment, I have to get going now,” Cas blurts, and cringes at how fake he sounds.

 

“Everything alright, Cas?” Sam asks, sounding unsure. 

 

“Yeah, yes, everything’s alright. I just really have to go, sorry,” he says, and gets up. He catches Dean giving him a weirdly empty look, and that’s enough confirmation to make him run for the door, not bothering to stop for anything but his shoes and keys.

 

 

               4.  _when he quadruple-texts_

 

Cas scrolls through their texts for a long time, and he’s four months back when he finally stops and can’t deny it anymore. Yes, he did text Dean more than one message at a time... a lot, over the past months. 

 

Mostly they were emergency texts or questions he’d needed a quick answer to, and he’d always given Dean ten minutes before he sent a second text. Sometimes, though, he just rambled about his day when Dean wasn’t home to talk to in person.

 

He’s counted, Dean had double-texted him a lot too, and Cas has always been happy to get more than one-word-texts from his best friend — but he can see how it would be incredibly annoying to receive a bunch of messages every day, from someone he can’t stand.

 

  
  
_                10. he hates parties _

_                11. he takes sex so seriously  _ — _ he never just hooks up with a stranger _

 

Cas decides to work on both of those points at once, so he can finally tick the last two things he has to change about himself off of Dean’s list after tonight.

 

He doesn’t know who mentioned the party to him first — probably Balthazar, one of his most obnoxious, and unfortunately very persistent, classmates. But he knows it’s happening tonight, and he knows where to go, which is why he’s currently getting ready for a horrible frat party he will most definitely hate every second of.

 

He decides to put on a nice pair of black jeans and a simple blue henley, doesn’t bother with blockers for the first time in two weeks — because why not? He is trying to attract people tonight, apparently — and gets going. At least Dean isn’t home, so Cas spares himself any possible awkward encounters and attempts to explain why he’s suddenly going out to get drunk and meet people, smelling like pure alpha.

 

The frat house is just four blocks away, so Cas walks, and grows a little more anxious with every step he takes. When he’s finally standing in front of it, music blaring through open windows and doors, people out on the porch and the lawn, he debates just turning around and walking back home. 

 

He’s taking a deep breath to calm down a little when he hears someone shouting his name, so he forces himself to open his eyes again and look for whoever recognized him. 

 

“Castiel? Oh my, it really is straight-laced, well-behaved Clarence — who would have thought,” he hears, and if he hadn’t already recognized the voice, he’d have realized it’s Meg walking towards him the second she used that stupid nickname.

 

“Hello, Meg,” he greets, just when she gets close enough to press up against him in what turns out to be a  _ very  _ intimate hug.

 

He met Meg in one of his classes about a year ago, and has done his best to avoid her ever since. She’s too loud, too pushy and stereotypical alpha for his liking, and she either has no clue about boundaries and personal space, or she just doesn’t give a shit about them.

 

“What brings you to these parts of the woods?” she asks when she finally decides she’s done with the aggressive hug and pulls back to look at him through long, dark lashes. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you partying.”

 

“I’m planning on getting drunk, first and foremost,” Cas answers and starts to walk past her towards the porch. Before he can get much distance between them, though, Meg catches up with him and links their arms, pressing against his side as if they’d do this all the time. He tries to ignore her pungent smell; alpha, overpowering, wrong, not Dean.

 

She doesn’t let go of his arm when they walk to the house, when they fight their way through the mass of students, when they reach the kitchen to get some drinks. Their arms stay firmly linked even when Cas takes a shot, then another one, two more to really get his mind off of Dean and maybe get in the mood to actually have a decent time here.

 

Meg pulls him towards what appears to be the dance floor after that, and Cas is already feeling a little dizzy when she presses her whole body up against him to the beat of the bass. He can’t see himself getting away from her anytime soon, and now that he considers it — why would he even want to? Meg is pretty, she’s interested in him, she’d be more than willing to sleep with him. He should take advantage of that.

 

Cas brings his hand to rest on the dip of her hip, pulls her against him and tries to move a little to the music, too. It’s not long until he feels her mouth against his neck, pressing and sucking, and he decides that they should probably move this to somewhere a little more private. He tells Meg as much, and she’s very happy to lead him through the mass of dancing people towards a hallway that’s a lot less crowded.

 

She doesn’t waste any time now, pushes Cas up against a wall with a hand on his chest and follows to press her mouth to his. She tastes like Vodka and something overwhelmingly fruity, and Cas immediately decides he hates all of it, but doesn’t back away because he’s determined that this is going to happen.

 

He’s raising his arm to get his fingers into her hair when she and the horrible taste of strawberry or melon or maybe even apple are suddenly gone, harshly yanked off of him. 

 

And then, for a few intense seconds, all he can see are Dean’s green eyes. But it doesn’t take long until he sees the rest, too — Dean’s clenched jaw, the angry frown on his forehead, the way his hands are balled into fists where they are grabbing Cas’ shirt. And oh, when did that happen?

 

“What the hell are you doing, alpha?" he chokes out, eyes locked on Cas’ for the first time in weeks. Cas almost considers it a win, but then he realizes how furious Dean smells — his usually so gentle scent of rain and leaves and cinnamon now smelling more like the air before a storm. How fitting, Cas thinks as he watches Dean’s heaving chest.

 

“What’s it look like, Dean?" Cas asks back, trying for pissed but ending up sounding tiny and sad, mostly thanks to the alcohol. 

 

“No. Why, Cas. Why are you doing all of this," he says, and Cas thinks he hears a little desperation between the bite of his words.

 

“What, changing into a person you can like?" 

 

“I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about. All you’ve been doing over the past few weeks is avoiding me, Cas." There are tears in his eyes now, and Cas feels like he needs to beat himself up for putting them there.

 

He’s tired and drunk, which is probably why, after all this silence, he tells Dean the truth. “I found the list in your closet, Dean. I’ve been trying to change for you."

 

“List? What list? What are you even — Oh my god. Charlie. I’m gonna kill her,“ Dean breathes, and at least he doesn’t sound so angry anymore. “Cas, listen—“

 

“It’s alright, you don’t have to lie. I recognized your handwriting, it’s fine—"

 

“Cas—"

 

“I can deal with—"

 

“Alpha! Come on,  _ please _ listen to me." He can’t ignore Dean when he calls him that, when he begs like this, so he raises his head to look at him while he desperately tries to calm his racing heart. 

 

“Good, thank you so much," Dean says, and then his fingers are on Cas’ cheeks, gentle and careful. “Cas, all of those things? Those are things that make me love you." 

 

It’s ridiculous how easy the words come out of Dean’s mouth, and even more ridiculous how long it takes for Cas to process them. “No. No, I thought — I was so sure you hate me. You do, you have to. I was trying so hard to change, I was doing my best to stop being weird about dumb shit, ticking off things from your list."

 

“You fucking idiot," Dean says, pressing his forehead to Cas’. “I love you.  _ Because _ you are the way you are."

 

“Dean," Cas chokes out, because all of this is way too overwhelming for him right now. “Dean, can I kiss you?"

 

“Go right ahead, alpha."

 

Cas can neither suppress the full body shiver, nor the way his eyes start to glow alpha red at that, so he just lets it happen. As soon as it’s over, as soon as he thinks the red has left his eyes again, he darts down to kiss Dean.

 

He tastes so much better than anything Cas has ever tasted, just as perfect as he smells, and he feels so incredibly good against Cas’ lips that he feels dizzy all over again.

 

When Dean breaks away from the kiss, his smell of  _ happy, content, aroused omega _ makes Cas feel addicted. Dean doesn’t move an inch out of his personal space, and Cas can’t express how thankful he is for that. “What were you planning on crossing off the list tonight?" Dean asks, and rubs up against Cas’ chest, spreading his scent all over him and effectively getting rid of all that’s left of Meg. “God, I missed your smell so much.”

 

“Random hook-up," he says, and dips back down into the groove of Dean’s neck to leave his own scent there.

 

“Wanna get back to our apartment and work on the hooking-up part?" Dean asks, but snorts right after the words are out of his mouth and he realizes how cheesy they are. It doesn’t make Cas any less thrilled about the possibility, though. 

 

“As long as we’re leaving the ‘random’ part out, I would love to," he says, and then Dean is already pulling him with him out of this awful house, away from prying eyes.

 

The world spins a little around them on their way home, Dean jogging a little in front of him, Cas chasing a little, until they crash against the door of their apartment together, kissing and touching and grinning.

 

One of them must have found their key, must have unlocked the door, because the next thing Cas notices is falling to Dean’s bed and being surrounded by his favorite smell, wrapped up in the arms of its source.

 

“You like the nest?” Dean asks against Cas’ lips, sounding small and hesitant. It’s only then that Cas finally lifts his gaze from where Dean’s sitting on his lap and realizes that he’s surrounded by blankets, pillows and shirts that faintly smell like him. 

 

“Is that — um. Did you make it for us?” Cas asks and immediately regrets it when Dean hits his arm, hard.

 

“Of course I did, dumbass. I’ve been — I haven’t been feeling so great with you distancing yourself, so. This helped a little,” he says and hides his face in the crook of Cas’ neck, breathing him in.

 

“Dean, I’m so sorry about all of this. I hope you know that. And — I hope you know that I love you, too.” It’s the right thing to say, because Dean comes back up and looks at him, smiling from ear to ear, and then he’s kissing him again.

 

This kiss is filled with more desperation and need than their previous ones, and it’s not long until Cas smells the first traces of slick in the air between them and his cock throbs at the thought of Dean wanting him like this.

 

He bucks up a little, his hardening dick sliding against Dean’s ass and he can’t help the pathetic moans spilling out of him at having Dean here, at being able to touch him. Dean is right there with him, though, whining and grinding down against him, hand rubbing against the bulge in his own jeans.

 

“Cas,” he pants. “Need you. Please.”

 

“Anything, Dean. Everything. Whatever you want,” Cas says, chest almost bursting with happiness at those words, and lifts his hands to pull at the hem of Dean’s shirt. “How do you want me?”

 

“Need you inside me, alpha.” 

 

Cas answers with a choked howl, flips them over and rips off their clothes in record time so they can finally, finally, touch without a barrier between them. Dean’s skin glows beneath Cas’ fingers, he’s whining and pleading and writhing and Cas wants — wants so much.

 

The first slide of his fingers over Dean’s wet hole has both of them gasping for breath, so Cas distracts them with kisses while he opens Dean up slow and careful.

 

It’s ridiculously hard to leave Dean, wet and open, begging for Cas. It only takes a few seconds for Cas to go and grab a condom, but he has to take a few minutes to scent Dean as soon as he’s back on top of him, making sure that this is real, that Dean is still here.

 

Dean tries to present for him, then, but Cas is having none of that. “I need to see you,” he murmurs as he guides Dean back down to his back.

 

When he finally pushes into Dean, they are kissing frantically, only stopping when one of them has to take a deep breath to deal with the intensity of it all.

 

Cas fucks Dean slow and deep, rolling and grinding against him, keening at the beautiful sounds of pleasure slipping from Dean’s mouth.

 

He mouths at Dean’s throat in between sinful thrusts, sucks and nips — and at Dean’s begging, he leaves a gentle bite mark right over his scent glands, careful not to break skin.

 

It takes a while until Cas gets close enough to the edge that his thrusts grow desperate and uncoordinated, but then Dean moans “Knot me, alpha. Please.” and he can’t help but comply. He thrusts once, twice, and Dean takes his knot with a loud moan. 

 

Dean comes as soon as they are locked together, painting his stomach white as he clenches around Cas, and pulls him down into a messy kiss right after. Cas comes hard, then, twitching inside of Dean’s tight hole and biting into his shoulder to keep from shouting his pleasure.

 

They spend a long time just holding each other after Cas quickly wiped them down with his shirt, kissing and nosing against each others’ necks.

 

When they do get out of Dean’s bed a little later and Dean offers Cas one of his shirts to put on, both of them break into matching grins.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!! I would love to hear your thoughts about this fic in the comments *hides* <3
> 
> You can find my Tumblr and the rebloggable version of this fic [here](https://suckerfordeansfreckles.tumblr.com/post/175582935219/cas-stuff-on-ao3-pairing-castieldean-winchester)!


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